Fancy: How would you describe your swagher? What makes Troya, Troya?
Troya: My swagher is rooted in kindness and love. I try to be as intentional as possible with how I treat people and how I allow people to be treated in my presence. I’m more than a boss, more like a queen.
Fancy: I was so moved by your recount of meeting former Governor George Wallace. Did he ever issue an apology to you all?
Troya: Apology?!? LOL! Technically yes. He gave a general statement of apology to, “those he hurt”, back in 1995. The Baltimore Sun published a story about it. I was a sophomore at Howard University at the time. But to me or my classmates, no…he never directly apologized. I believe he died just like he lived…a miserable racist.
Fancy: Please share more about your books “The Answers: A Parent's Guide to Discussing Racism with Children” and “The Answers: Discussing and Defeating Racism in America”.
Troya: As I was working in PEI, parents kept asking me to recommend a book that they could read to know what to say to their children about racism. As I looked over time, I couldn’t find any. So I wrote my own, and people loved it! These books give information about racism from a factual, research-based perspective. So I’m not sharing what I think or how I feel. I’m actually sharing real peer-reviewed research from my perspective as an African American woman. They both have companion action-guides, so you really can read them and uncover your own personal biases, based on your experiences and your exposure.
Fancy: Does discussing racism with our children soften the blow any for when they may experience it?
Troya: Yes, because I look at it from a strategic view, since it is a war we are in. In order to win any battle, you have to be prepared and know the opponent coming against you. Preparing our children by equipping them with the truth is the best tool to end racism and weapon of any war. You have to at least know what is going on. As a veteran educator and life-long learner, I really believe that preparation is where many well-intentioned people lose the battle. The lack of knowledge and the lack of application of knowledge. Is where we have the largest opportunity to grow.
Fancy: Now I know you also have a third book, “The Answers to Intimacy: Why Men NEED Oral Sex and Women NEED to Talk?". It sounds like you went in a totally different direction with that one. What inspired this one?
Troya: I know it sounds like I went in a different direction, but I didn’t. This book came from the workshops, tours, podcasts, radio and tv interviews that I did for the first books. I got a notion from listening to people in the audiences, that racism was one of the main reasons that people who are in relationships with Black people have difficulties. African American men and women are oppressed and facing obstacles caused by racism all day, especially at work, and are expected to come home and be the loveliest version of themselves. That’s unrealistic, and many relationships are failing because of that disconnect. So, I decided to do some research, and that notion was backed by TONS of research that I had never heard of! This is the book I wish I had before I got married, and certainly wish I had before I got a divorce. This book drastically changed the way I look at relationships and what I need in a relationship. I have learned a lot, and other people I have come across that have read the book are learning and growing too. It has been a HUGE blessing!
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